If you experience sexual harassment on the job, your first instinct may simply be to tell the person that you do not appreciate this unwanted conduct and that it needs to stop immediately. You may decide that you are going to have this conversation with them before even making a report to HR.
What sometimes happens, however, is that the person begins engaging in gaslighting. This is a way of trying to make you question your own memories of the event, twisting the truth and trying to manipulate you.
Directly lying
For one thing, they may blatantly lie to you about the situation. Maybe they will tell you that the inappropriate comments they made were just a joke, or they will say it is your fault for not understanding their intent. Victim blaming is very common.
Denying the evidence
If you do move forward with a report, they may even deny things in spite of the evidence against them. Maybe they deny that the sexual harassment ever occurred in the first place, even though you and other witnesses saw it take place firsthand. The perpetrator could say that you are just remembering it incorrectly or that you must be confusing them with someone else.
Projecting behavior
One common type of gaslighting is projecting their own behavior onto others. They may say that you were inviting the sexual harassment, for example, or that you were doing the same thing to them, and they did not complain. They are just projecting their behavior to make it appear as if they have not done anything wrong.
When this type of gaslighting occurs, it can be very frustrating because you know that you should not have to experience sexual harassment on the job. At this time, it is very important to focus on your legal rights and all of the options that you have moving forward.
